One of the things people don’t think about when they say I do, is who exactly they are saying I do to. You not only marry your spouse and become a family but you get a whole other family in the deal for better, for worse. I have great in-laws for the most part, however my husband grew up in a family of all boys so a girl is quite different for their family. There have definitely been ups and downs in establishing this new relationship and I find myself struggling with where I fit in. My sister-in-law has been accepted with open arms and frequently does things during the week with my mother-in-law and I just can’t bring myself to do it. My mother-in-law is pretty demanding and hard headed and lately I find our relationship to be more trouble than it’s worth. I love that my son is so close to his grandparents, I just wish that it didn’t have to involve me.
Last week my mother-in-law watched my son and decided, against house rules, to give my son some apple. We are doing baby-led weaning and my son frequently gags and breaks off more than he can chew, so we make sure to keep a really close eye on him when we feed him. We also have told all the grandparents that they are only to give him bottle of my expressed milk. When I confronted my mother-in-law about the situation she became very defensive and than confrontational rather than apologizing and admitting fault, which really didn’t sit well with me. It’s such a privilege to spend time with my son, in my opinion, she can follow a few basic rules we have in place for safety, rather than arguing. I’m not really sure how to move forward from here, I desperately want a great relationship with her, but just don’t see it happening at this point. I’m sure we are both at fault, but when it comes to my son, compromise just really isn’t in the cards.
I know my playgroup moms frequently discuss relationship strain with mother-in-laws, is that something you have experienced? How did you deal with it?